The Not-So-Nice in Your Genealogy

So often we project that our ancestors were nice people.  But what do you do with the not-so-nice in your genealogy?

It's human nature to assume that others, including our ancestors, would think and act the way that we do.  Most people would say that they were a good person.  But human nature would also indicate that there are plenty of mean, nasty people in the world - and chances are that some of them were our ancestors, too.

Since most of what we know about them comes from newspaper accounts or governmental created records, we often have little to go on in deciding what they might have thought, or how they would have reacted to certain situations.  

Did they treat their spouse or children well?  Did they participate in their community?  Did the neighbors think they were someone who could be trusted? In the absence of evidence to the contrary, it is natural to assume only the most positive thoughts about an ancestor.

It is said that it only takes three (3) generations for a person to be forgottten.  You could argue that by the time you get to the great-grandparents level or even grandparents, much of the stories or folklore you know about them was handed down to you.  For instance, in my own lines, both of my grandfathers were gone before I was five (5) years old, so any stories/memories are heavily influenced by stories from my parents, aunts/uncles and older cousins.

Stories that are handed down about your ancestors can be heavily influenced by the perspective of the person tellling the story as well.  Think of the memories of an ancestor that a child would have versus the memories of an adult who know that ancestor for years.  Add a bit of distance and time, and each story has a bit of flavor that doesn't give you the full picture.

That's why it is always best to ask your older relatives about their memories of an ancestor, yet keep in perspective your relatives age and/or relationship with the ancestor at the time of the memory.  Someone who was only a child or rarely spent time with the ancestor would have a much different perspective than someone who visited them often.

As I am researching one particular ancestor, the terms "mean", "nasty" and "vile" keep being thrown about.  These stories are not just coming from one side of the family, but from multiple branches.  A few newspaper stories give some credence to how he treated his own family, and it's not pretty.  Part of me wants to try to understand why - so I'm collecting as many of these stories as I can.  

While I'll probably never know what really made this person act the way that he did, finding the documentation to back up the stories makes him more than just a name and some dates.